Mums and stories is happy to feature one of the loved mums in Bangalore who has managed to connect over 30 thousand mums on a digital platform.
Meet Moya Caddy – the founder of Mums of Bangalore group on the social media.
In the UK many people take a “gap year”. This means that after school you take a year out and do what you want. Most kids work for 6 months, save up enough money and go traveling. It is your first taste of independence. I chose to come to India on my gap year. I backpacked around the country with my best friend and fell head over heels in love with India. I was miserable when I went back to London and promised myself that as soon as I finish my studies, I will go back to India. I did exactly that. I completed my diploma in teacher training and got on the first flight out here. When I was working I then met my husband. So yes I can say that there were many reasons or excuses to come to India back again.
I tried to open my own school but didn’t succeed. I was young, naive and in a hurry. I made a lot of mistakes and therefore went back to teaching. I started Mums of Bangalore when my daughter was a baby. I started the group so I could meet new people through play dates, make some friends and get some much needed answers to my many questions.
I remember being awake in the middle of the night breast feeding my daughter and going onto MOB. There was ALWAYS someone there to talk to, no matter what time of the day or night. MOB then became a lifeline to me as it did for many other Mothers. It then just grew and grew to what it is today. The Super Mums of India site was initially the Mums of Bangalore website. Everyday a huge amount of questions are asked and I wanted these to be answered and followed up by professionals so I started the “Ask the expert”. This is a page full of doctors and professionals who have volunteered their time to help the mums. Mothers can ask any question to any doctor and remain anonymous. I also put in a directory. I am also a blogger and so many of the mums are too so the site also offers an opportunity for the mums to publish their work. It changed to Super Mums of India as I wanted to reach mums from all over India rather than restrict women only from Bangalore.
I have two kids; Aarav who is 5 and Ariya who is 4 years old. The most loved thing for me as a mum is the flabbergasting amount of love that I hold for my children. Until you become a mother, you will not feel a love that is so intense. I love being a role model for my children and I enjoy teaching them new things every day.
When I interact with people back in UK or elsewhere, many are surprised and amazed by the amount of work the average Indian mother does. For a lot of mums in this country the responsibility is not shared so the woman ends up doing A LOT – from cooking all the meals, cleaning, taking kids to school, working and most of all the woman’s role in looking after her husband.
A lot of my friends are also fascinated by the idea of “arranged marriage”. As you know this doesn’t happen where I come from so I get asked many questions on this topic, although I don’t know much myself.
I have been humbled many times by several mums. This is exactly what keeps me going. There are huge plus and minus points to technology. There is so much information out there, that it is hard to educate yourself on what is “right” and what is “wrong”. A great thing about social media is that everyone can share their story. By being open about your parenting online can connect you to other mothers who resonate with you and who are sailing in the same boat. You can then help one another along the way. I found that bouncing off with other mothers, getting tips and advice helped me tremendously as a mother.
Also I strongly feel technology has given many opportunities to those mums who struggle to leave the house due to family responsibilities.”
Moya shares on her ability to cook certain Indian dishes for her kids, “When I met my husband I told him, I will do anything for you, but please don’t ask me to cook! I used to laugh at how my children now LOVE their south Indian breakfasts and initially didn’t like a traditional English one. Now I make idly wada and dosas every weekend! smile emoticon
Being born as an English resident and being raised in the countryside, I wasn’t introduced to another language until I got to secondary school. There I learnt French. I can manage if I go to France but unfortunately I am not fluent. I also understand a lot of Hindi but I feel shy to speak. I admire and envy everyone here who speak multiple languages. It is my new years resolution every year to TRY and learn Hindi but each year I fall short.”
On her advice to all those mums reading her story, Moya says, “Put one foot in front of the other and do the best you can. Its OK to make mistakes, we all do! Parenting is about trial and error. Don’t let anyone tell you how to be a parent unless you yourself ask for advice. This is your journey.
Never be consumed by other things in your life that you forget about the most important thing – the love for your Child. Even if you can only spend 5 minutes a day with your child, remind them how much you love them and how much they mean to you. NEVER be afraid to tell them how you feel.”
Mums and stories is glad to have caught up with this amazing mum who surely knew her way to make a difference in many lives.