Here’s a mum who prescribes a strong recommendation to others on why motherhood should not be a hindrance in pursuing career goals. She also shares a few tips on how mothers can get back to new career options and chalk out their path if that’s what she had decided right from the beginning of her adult life of being a work outside home too.
Rajashree Das Purkayastha is a content writer based in Kolkata. She describes herself as the individual who likes to live as an independent soul and woman , not shadowed by the roles of a wife, mum or daughter.
She shares with Mums and stories, “I’m a perfect amalgam of an obedient child who is also a rebel at heart. Roles keep changing with circumstances. I’m affable, witty and love talking with both friends and strangers and am trusted by all.
I belonged to a nuclear family but was surrounded by relatives all year round. Even the neighbourhood where I grew and my friends were like my extended family. Born to strict parents but my wit, wisdom and logic always helped me to earn freedom within the home regiment.
I was in Pune when my daughter was born in 2013. With no relatives around to guide me, I became a self learner as a mother with some aid from web searches. In simple words motherhood became the turning point in my life, I realized, doing a job or qualifying an exam is easier than nurturing a baby. It’s a big responsibility and I realized my potentials in those hours since day one, when I did all the stuff by myself and with confidence.
I even felt that the early days in hospital after my daughter, Khushi was born were better than the home return. But a few of my friends stood as sentinel with me which helped me overcome my post partum blues.
I always choose to find a solution to my problems instead of bowing down. Only two months passed, I started to work as content writer when my husband shared the news of his hiring for Kolkata location.
That was the moment when my fear took over my delight, and I couldn’t respond. The obvious consequences of quitting my job and relocating left me crying. But I didn’t want to relocate jobless. In most cases with a woman’s career, dreams are only yours, so can’t expect everybody to have the same zeal to materialize them; yet some rarest exceptions exist. So I knew I had to convince my husband, rest assured. At times my patience gave way, but I was determined.
Finally, I told my husband that it’s time we both need to support each other’s career and that would eventually be good for Khushi. I reasoned, if I remain unhappy then unknowingly I would pass my unhappiness to Khushi and that would be good for none. I had words with my seniors in office and they allowed me to work remotely from Kolkatta for Pune.
I surely feel motherhood gave me the strength to explore my hidden potential. Though I am a masters in biotechnology; writing has been my hobby and passion; so I opted to become a content writer. It would also fetch me the option of work from home opportunity.
My daughter is now 3 years and I believe being a working mom also makes you a working daughter too. I feel your kids learn that you can also be a responsible daughter towards your parents and can come to their financial aid (if any). If a man looks after his parents; a woman should also take up the responsibility to look after her parents. Your husband might help you but you must be their first support.
I am a writer and write on various genres. I also feel I am an unconventional mom, who enjoys her “me time”. It is then; I can contemplate on matters how to resolve them or things that could be fixed. My mom has been my strength always. Her teachings helped me overcome problems that came as hurdles but got rolled out. She has been very strict but I found myself a more liberal mom and can see my daughter growing up into a more confident child than what I have been.”
Rajashree offers a few practical solutions from her own experience to take the first step in going back to work. “Set your priority; take the decision and stay determined. Even a stay at home mother can’t look after her children 24/7; she has other responsibilities too; so no guilty feeling if you want to do a job. If you wonder about the play time with your kid; well quality matters and not quantity. Whenever you are with your kid, ditch any distraction and create memories.
Here I list some ways that could help a mom get back to work or look for alternatives:
- After a hiatus or sabbatical you might not find work in relevance to your profile or as per your experience; don’t dishearten. Keep real expectations and accept the fact. Be happy with the thought that at least you could re-start and in the long run things will be better.
- Update yourself in your field or another; there are numerous online courses.
- Self assessment- Explore your inner strength or things you are good at. It could be any of your long lost hobby. There are several options just give a try.
- Opt for an alternate career – Like I did. Believe me I was feeling guilty before I switched my field but now I’m enjoying every bit of it.
- Look for mom-friendly job profiles or search online return-to-work programs by several companies.
She wraps saying, “ In this digital era consider yourself more lucky than your predecessors. What you need is determination and maintain a balance between your work and family.
Every situation or experience is unique and I don’t judge people because I don’t know their circumstances or am not living their life to form any opinion. So I sail my boat and intend crave my path wisely.”