Pregnancy is a wonderful phase but those who are unable to get pregnant due to health conditions or other factors go through severe stress, depression and the pain becomes intense. It is also to deal with how our society taunts or questions newly married women on when she will be the mother. Obviously the society doesn’t seem to yet understand the decision to go in for a baby or two kids or not go to be a mother need not be of anyone else’s concern.
We received this story from Navitha Reddy who shares her phase of dealing with ectopic pregnancy. She is in a better state now as she is a mum to two kids. But she remembers how the phase seven years ago was stressful and hopes, sharing her story will connect with those who are going through the painful phase. She has finally penned her story and wanted to share it with others through Mums and Stories.
Navitha says,“ When we got the news that I am expecting a baby, myself and my hubby were thrilled and excited that soon we would be busy with parenting. We were so overwhelmed with joy that we started sharing the news to all our family, friends and well-wishers.
Life was colorful…felt like i was on cloud nine…my dream came true. The only thing every single day I prayed to god was to keep my baby healthy and fine.
My happiness did not last long… one day I felt a terrible pain in my abdomen and I was bleeding. I was horrified, scared and was praying that everything should be fine. Doctor examined thoroughly and told me that fetus is not seen in the sack. And it’s too early to find out.
I was informed that the pain could also be due to implementation of egg into uterus wall. I felt some relief came home with heavy heart and was under bed rest. But the pain did not reduce even after 3 days… it was increasing day by day.
The pain was so bad that I felt someone was pulling my nerves from top to bottom. It was unbearable, it was getting worse every second. I was unable to sit or walk. I was taken to different doctor this time, she was quick enough to find out that there were more complications and it could be fatal as there was the possibility of me losing life, if delayed further.
Unfortunately mine was declared as ectopic pregnancy, My baby did not get into uterus at all. It was formed in right fallopian tube and it had a heart beat to my surprise. Doctor advised immediate surgery and within an hour everything was arranged with consent of my hubby and my mother.
It was the first time i felt helpless … I felt my baby was shouting to me mom i am here- I am all alive.-i need you. Tears rolled down before entering the operation theater. If i had to survive, I had to let go my baby who was growing in my fallopian tube. I cursed myself for being so harsh, so cunning…but doctor said if i don’t do this then both of us will die in just few hours as the fallopian tube might burst out anytime and its dangerous. So with heavy heart cursing my bad luckI had to nod my head to the decision of giving up my baby. Doctor within a span of time cut the ruptured Fallopian tube along with my bundle of joy.
The operation was successful and I was given new lease of life.
After this incident i was mentally upset and my hubby did everything to bring back happiness in my life. I was desperate to have kids, but i was not able to conceive. Doctor said I can get pregnant and lead a normal life, my reports were fine. But even after trying for a year I could not conceive.
This made me go crazy…I was angry for no reason. I was frustrated…showing my anger on everyone and everything i could.
I was psychologically affected and was in a sad state for no reason. Finally my hubby could not take it anymore of my madness and advised me to adopt a baby. He was to go on an official trip to UK and it was decided that once he is back; we will discuss further about it. It gave some relief to me and i was eagerly waiting for him to be back. He told me if in other 3 months i don’t conceive then we would go for adoption. It was a miracle or god’s gift. I missed my periods and was having all signs of pregnancy. I was afraid to check at home.
What if this time it was ectopic? What if it’s a false pregnancy?
These questions were haunting me. I broke the news to my hubby, who immediately took me to a doctor. This time doctor confirmed that baby was healthy and can be seen in the sack during ultrasound scanning. She took utmost care as she was aware about my medical history. She advised me to give up negative thinking and concentrate on baby.
Finally I was blessed with the joy that was lost… i was free from the guilt of being selfish as I did feel the one who went with a pain, returned to me to give happiness.
On 4/4/14 morning i delivered a healthy boy baby. He brought lots of happiness into our lives. After 3 years god blessed me with another boy, who brought even more joy and happiness. Now we are a complete family.
While i was going through tough phase in my life many people mocked me down, saying it was sin from my previous life that’s haunting me in this birth. Few people declared that i won’t conceive again since my right fallopian tube was removed. Few pretended to show sympathy but were happy that I am going through all this in my life. I am thankful to my mom, my hubby and my mother in law for being on supportive and helped to overcome this trauma.
This is a message to all those would-be –mums. If through unfortunate reasons, you haven’t conceived- do not be disheartened, do not get stressed. Please think it is an accident or a phase and it will pass way. Do remember during post ectopic pregnancy, your body will heal by itself. Always have positive thoughts. Keep yourself surrounded by people who care for you. Enjoy your favorite hobby and try to get out of the pain.
Once you conceive again and see the little bundle of joy-you will not even remember what you went through.
My best wishes to all those mommies.”
Mums and Stories thanks Navitha for taking the step to talk about a difficult phase and if you want to share your story on being an interesting mum or inspiring mum or want to recommend some one , email us at firstname.lastname@example.org
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