A Letter to my daughter by Tejaswinee Barua

This is a letter to my daughter, who is now 16 months old, but one day will grow up and who one day might be full of self-doubts on her worth as a woman. It is then that I want her to read this and feel empowered and proud of being who she is and what she is.

 

A little bit of fairy dust is sprinkled upon me from the heavens above. A little fairy takes form and she blesses me by forming a part of me.

And that is you, my lovely baby.

As I sit down to pen down a letter to you – who, a number of years hence will come upon it and hopefully understand what I am trying to convey in this Letter-I think of my life as a woman.
I have been very fortunate to be born in a part of India, in the lush state of Assam, where the girl child is welcomed and nurtured. But during my life, I have also met girls who have been demeaned for just being a girl.

And that is what I want to tell you today.

In societies however progressive, you will always come across instances when you are reminded that you are a woman.

‘Too revealing’ when you wear your favourite swimsuit.

‘Too ambitious ‘ when you covet that next job promotion.

‘Too heartless’ when you reject a man you are not attracted to.

‘Too money-minded’ when you try to save money for your dream home.

‘Too selfish’ when you dare to think about yourself first.

Yes, you will always swing between the “too much” and “too little” spectrum. They will always judge you, for being a woman, for being you.

NEVER let that change who you are.

NEVER, ever let a man (or another woman) tell you that you are less of a person because you were born a girl.

Love with all your heart, work hard with all you’ve got and dream with all your being.

Do not let being a woman change any of that.You are a woman and that is a big gift. For we, women are creatures bestowed with an abundance of emotional intelligence, compassion and tenacity.

The innate ability to take everything in our stride, the invisible power to turn lemons into lemonade, the patience to overcome adversity and the gentleness to turn hate into love. Use your power to be who you are, however negative or suppressive the external elements are.

NEVER let them tell you that you are not beautiful. If ever they find flaws in how you look, you take it upon yourself to look in the mirror and fall in love with yourself again.
You are beautiful, period.

NEVER let life burden you and make you bury your passion. You might love reading, writing, cooking, painting, travelling. Follow that passion. Being a woman will have its challenges in every field, you might be asked to follow something that your heart is not in. Do not pay heed.Keep that love of something close to you, nurture it and water it. Make it blossom.

NEVER search for happiness in another person. Go ahead and create happiness within yourself.Be your own best friend. Of course, fall in love. But Fall in love with a partner who respects you and accepts you for who you are. But never stay in love with someone who repeatedly demeans you. Someone who thinks less of you is not someone who can love you. That is not love.

NEVER be too hard on yourself. Take yourself and life lightly. Laugh a little bit more, from the heart and belly, be silly, be funny, joke a lot, take vacations, watch and cry watching sappy movies, play with children. Soak in innocence and laughter wherever you find them.

And lastly, NEVER be afraid to stand up for things that are not right. A neighbour being domestically abused, a stray dog being beaten, a friend being bullied. Stand up for those things, stand up for kindness. In today’s world, a little bit of kindness can go a long way. Be kind to everyone you come across and sprinkle warmth and happiness wherever you set foot in.

You are a woman, you can do anything and be anything, so my mighty girl, go, grow up and be a woman, shatter those glass ceilings, be happy and believe in yourself no matter what!