Love can be in various forms and this is a special story of a lucky child who has found a home and adorable parents. Kavita Baluni Kaktwan, a mum residing in Delhi shares with Mums and Stories her choice to adopt a specially abled child.
She shares, “Adopting a girl child was always in my mind since I was a teen. I always find it ironic that generally people in society are busy in raising their own family, but a very few are concerned about kids who do not have a family to look after them. I shared this thought with my husband before marriage; we discussed it through and decided to have our child through adoption, although special needs came quite late into consideration.
We came across the word “Down’s syndrome” when we were in US. We saw a few kids with Down Syndrome. We started exploring the internet and watching videos about it. We spent the next few weeks and months gathering detailed information about Down Syndrome. As we got more into it, we were really inspired to adopt a baby with DS as we couldn’t find any reason why not to do so! And so we came back to INDIA as we couldn’t adopt from US and everything happened afterwards.
Veda is now 3 yrs old, she came home when she was 15 months old. The adoption process was smooth we registered under CARA and within a week our Home study got done. As there is no waiting period for special need adoption, I searched for Down syndrome kids available for adoption under disability section and found her. We completed our adoption journey in 45 days from day we registered under CARA.
(Kavita with Veda). (Photographs are subject to copyright).
I used to be a pre-school teacher and before that I have worked as HR Recruiter for couple of years, but when I thought of adoption I knew I have to be dedicated for it only. As my baby is my top priority, so her well-being has kept me far away from thinking about working for someone else.
We have her physio therapies 3-4 times in a week and I take care of her occupational therapies, speech and fine-motor activities, so happily there is no scope for anything else. I have also started her YouTube channel to create awareness where I post about her activities weekly.
Even as she grows, I would like to get involved with her activities and as we are planning homeschooling for her, I thing we are quite sorted.”
Talking about family acceptance and if it matters, Kavita shares, “ My family was a bit hesitant initially but later on, they were more like your life, your decision, while my husband’s family was not in favor of our decision at all.
We did faced a real hard time from friends and family who never contacted us after our decision, which we were expecting. But good part was that we had a lot of time to dedicate to Veda when she needed that most.
Most of people adore Veda now after they met her once.”
This courageous parent and mum with a huge heart has a word of advice for others who want to adopt. “If you are up for adoption keep your expectation criteria bare minimum and realistic. The process to adopt a normal child can take more than a year. Don’t lose hope and try to think from a child’s perspective who’s waiting for a family.
For those who want to adopt special need child, please get yourself educated and connect with special needs social groups in case you need help. Check for medical and physical facilities nearby as per child needs.”
Kavita and her husband went in for adoption even though she has been medically fit to have her own biological child. Talking about her conscious choice, she shares, “I could never differentiate between a biological and adopted one. A child is child whether it’s biological/adopted, a boy/a girl, a special need/ not so special need. And as I have already mentioned, when there are so many children in India waiting for a family then why to have biological kids?
Every child deserves a home, a place to groom and blossom in the best way they can.”
Regarding educational opportunities and learning environments this mum shares, “Apart from metro cities it’s really hard to find inclusive schools, that too are very limited. As per society anyone who is out of ordinary is not acceptable and what you face is continuous weird stares and whispering comments. (In our case, our girl wear glasses and as per society she doesn’t fits in the box.)
It’s heart breaking but as a society we are not growing empathetically.
It’s been nearly 2 years since Veda came home and still, we are one and the only couple to do so in India which explains it all.
I would say supportive partner is a much bigger relief in any manner and with a special child it does play a big role as well.
There is no distinction in our home for father or mother roles and responsibilities, we both are just parents.
All we take care is what needs to be done and who is available to do it, so we switch roles as and when needed.
As a wind up not, Kavita shares on a few milestones she cherishes with her daughter Veda
There are many, but a few to mention:
- Our first meeting.
- Home coming.
- Her first haircut.
- Her babbling and first words.
- When she started sitting
- My most fav. When she had her meal with spoon on her own. (as its really tough for her to master eye hand coordination)
- First steps. (she has recently started walking)
Mums and Stories thanks Kavita for sharing this beautiful story with us and we hope Veda has a cherished childhood and adult life that her parents can be proud of in life.
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