Ramya Kiran on being a mum to twins -boyvsgirl

We have an interesting and a so relatable story of a mum who shares on being a mother to a twin boy and girl and how different parenting can be while dealing with the same issue.

Meet Ramya Kiran, a mum to twins aged seven, sharing with Mums and stories, “I am presently a full time homemaker, the busiest job I have ever been in! I am a Post Graduate in Zoology, and have previously worked in the healthcare industry for eight years and I quit my job seven years back when my twins were born.

For me, motherhood summed up in a word would be “learning”… As the saying goes, when a child is born, so is a mother.

If I have to recollect my pregnancy phase, I would say getting pregnant after eight years of marriage had me with mixed feelings of anxiety, worry, excitement and delight!

My first blood test showed a high HCG hormone level which was the first indicator of a multiple pregnancy, followed by subsequent scans which confirmed the presence of twins!! I had to be under bed rest early into the pregnancy to prevent “mishaps”, and I recall it as actually being a “stressful” one in that every scan had to ensure two healthy fetuses with all parameters being right! The final outcome however has been worth all that…the most natural wish was of course for it to be a boy and a girl, and a boy and a girl they were!!!!

As the child opens his/her eyes to the world, so does a mother open her eyes to the world of motherhood.  She is as inexperienced in her role as her newborn ones are in theirs, so she embarks on a journey educating and learning herself. She is also simultaneously teaching and educating her newborns.

Having been in this journey for the past seven years, all I have done is to learn something everyday, make mistakes and learn from them again. My twins taught me to be patient for unimaginable extents of time so also did they make me lose my temper in a jiffy.

It has also made me stay strong in the most trying times or to lose it out for the silliest reason. I have also been elated at their smallest achievement or to brood over their minutest failures, and above all striking a balance between these extreme situations.

Specifically, as a mother of a boy and a girl born together, it has been quite overwhelming and daunting at times, to be able to be fair to both of them all the time, a feel of guilt here and there without actually being wrong. But these trials just seem fair enough in return to seeing the amazing way they both grow together, unique in their own rights, though they have been born just a minute apart!

This role, however challenging it may seem, is equally fulfilling though thanks to my children, for giving me a sense of achievement, just by being myself, their mom!

I have learnt to appreciate the fact that a twin boy and girl can be as different from each other as two individuals can be…you face the challenge of one child reaching a milestone earlier to the other, sometimes the anxious anticipation for the child who is ‘slower’ robs you off the joy of enjoying the other child’s achievement.. As they grow older, this slowly translates to being able to answer your daughter as to why her twin brother’s first tooth had to fall earlier than hers, or to answer your son as to why he is always a millimeter shorter than his sister, who has to be the one to be fed first or bathed first…the list is endless. But the miracle is you learn to deal with all this over time and before they could question you about something, you know when it is coming and are ready with an answer…or a story!

The best advise I could ever give moms of twins is to ensure and take steps to see that you have enough help at home in the form of an additional maid or a cook or both, help throughout the day for taking care of the babies, much before your twins are born.  You may need help till they complete two years or till the time they start attending play school. The physical strain would otherwise be too much to handle and might even compromise your kid’s growth and development as well as the mum’s health and mental well being.  Thankfully, I have had an extremely supportive husband, help at home from a reliable source, a cook, and with a lot of help from my parents and mother in law, the tougher times has become manageable.”